Undertow {A Mari & Sunny's Mother Mix}

[anxious_songbird]

Untertow
A Mari & Sunny's Mother Mix


1. Fourth of July {Sufjan Stevens}

Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head
Was it all a disguise, like Junior High
Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction
Now, where am I?
My fading supply

2. The Beast {Imogen Heap}

Have we left, have we left the building?
Did we die a little death?
Is this the end of the road for us? No more bridges for us to burn, left?
Do we finally find ourselves at the point of no return?

3. Queen Of Peace {Florance + The Machine}

Now you have me on the run
The damage is already done
Come on, is this what you want?
'Cause you're driving me away

4. Small Hands {Radical Face}

And all the anchors that they hid inside your chest
We will unravel all of the chains
And toss the remnants all down the drain
And all my hands are much too small to hold you up
I will be there to pick up the pieces
And keep you housed while you bend them up

5. Boats & Birds {Gregory and the Hawk}

If you be my star
I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

6. Maybe Sprout Wings {The Mountain Goats}

ghosts and clouds and nameless things.
squint your eyes and hope real hard,
maybe sprout wings.

7. Never Love an Anchor {The Crane Wives}

It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest
With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful
There is love that doesn't have a place to rest
But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders

8. Little Lion Man {Mumford & Sons}

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?

1. The mom is (obviously) in an emotional storm over the fact that her eldest child is dead (& by her now depressed son's hands, no less). It both feels not real and like the end of the world. She tries to hold herself together for the funeral (everything's a mess).

2. Her relationship with her husband is kinda going to shit. He's getting resentful over hiding this secret. While she doesn't know that exactly yet, she can feel how much bitterer & misanthropic he's getting. She wishes things could go back to when they were in love.

3. The dad has officially disowned Sunny while not caring to hide it anymore. The mom felt first conflicted cause he was grieving just like her. But she ultimately decides her son is more important than her now ex-husband. Also she's queen(TM) over (negative) peace.

4. She doesn't know how to help Sunny get better from his mental-health issues. But she'll do her best to keep him physically safe until he's ready. She knows, on her own, she isn't enough. But may hell take her if she complains to Sunny how hard she's taking everything.

5. She knows one day Sunny will leave her. She doesn't know if he'll ever want to speak to her again after everything. But she's made to love deeply and love deeply she shall. She's conflicted over the idea of him becoming independent. But till then she'll care for him.

6. Her mental-health issues after Mari's death. She feels harmful, guilty, haunted. Everything good in the past is becoming a faded dream she once had as Sunny, her only family left, is a shut-in. Hope is starting to feel fake, but hope is all she has left.

7. Her decision to leave Sunny alone. She's understanding on this point that she's been enabling Sunny to be a hikikomori. So she does a 180 in the hopes that it would force him to go outside. She smothered him while not even taking good care of him. TL;DR she's a mess.

8. Okay this song is assuming that the good ending happened. But basically, she's at the hospital after Sunny confesses the truth to his friends. She trying (messily, cause she didn't know he forgot) to be realistic, give advice & take the blame for this whole mess.